Dr. Lena
The Researcher
Kill score 91
„A self-aggrandizing blog post masquerading as a guide – stuffed with unverified statistics, zero named client proof, and a navigation that screams: we do everything, master of nothing.“
Free landing-page roast · 90 seconds
Find out why visitors don't buy.
Ten AI buyers read your landing page like your toughest customers – and tell you, with a Kill-Score and concrete fixes, what makes them bounce.
Works for any publicly reachable landing page, homepage or blog article with a conversion goal.
10 testers · 10 buyer psychologies
We unleashed the roast on one of our own blog articles first. The verdict was brutal – and valuable for exactly that reason: kill score 91 out of 100, recommendation: do not ship it like this. Here is an unedited excerpt.
Sample report · our own siteReal run · June 2026
91/100
Kill score
Do not ship
7 of 10 examiners would bounce.
Andreas
The Risk-Averse
Kill score 91
„No visible guarantee anywhere, no fallback option, no risk mitigation above the fold. I bounce before I ever trust this provider with my architecture.“
Jonas
The Procrastinator
Kill score 87
„The page never calculates what waiting costs me. I leave with full knowledge and zero urgency – and I never come back.“
And this is how concrete the fixes get (P0 issue from the same report):
Flagged by 7 of 10 examiners
Location on the page: „Slawa Ditzel CEO“
The author byline shows a name and title but no photo, no LinkedIn, no credentials, no years of experience. The authority claim is unearned and unsupported.
What to change: Add verifiable authority signals right next to the byline.
Concrete suggestion
Slawa Ditzel, CEO | 8 years of Shopware implementation | Certified partner | LinkedIn profile | plus a photo and a direct reply link.
Why: B2B buyers verify individuals before companies; unsupported CEO claims on agency blogs are ignored as unaccountable.
Real, shortened excerpt from a roast of our own page (June 2026). Your report follows exactly the same structure – with your quotes, your issues, your fixes.
Who takes you apart
Not a generic feedback tool: every examiner carries its own buyer psychology or audit framework – and only looks for the reasons NOT to buy.
The buyer panel
06Six buyers, each with their own psychology – every one hunting only for the reason NOT to buy.
Marek
The Burned One
Trusts no number without a source.
Sandra
Spouse-Veto
Defends the budget internally.
Tobias
The Comparison Shopper
Five competitor tabs open.
Jonas
The Procrastinator
Likes everything, does nothing.
Dr. Lena
The Researcher
Verifies every statistic.
Andreas
The Risk-Averse
Thinks worst case first.
Plus: fixed review frameworks
04Four mechanical frameworks with no feelings. They test every claim against its proof.
Promise-Proof Auditor
Conversion mechanicsPuts every promise on the page next to its proof. Unsupported claims end up in the report.
Objection-Stack Mapper
Conversion mechanicsMaps your buyers' objections and checks whether the page answers them – or ignores them.
Decision-Moment Walkthrough
Conversion mechanicsWalks the buying moment step by step: where exactly does the page lose the visitor who is ready to decide?
Legal & PR Net
Safety netChecks for attackable claims: unsupported superlatives, questionable statistics, legally risky wording.
How the roast works
Three steps, no registration, no sales call.
- 01
Enter your URL
Enter the address of your landing page – any publicly reachable page works.
- 02
Confirm your email code
You receive a 6-digit code by email. A code is valid for 15 minutes and good for exactly one roast.
- 03
Read your kill report
After 60–90 seconds your report is ready: kill score, quotes from all examiners and prioritized fixes with concrete copy suggestions.
Frequently asked questions about the AI Roast
What exactly is the AI Roast?
An adversarial review tool: 6 AI buyer personas, 3 conversion-mechanics audits and a legal check read your landing page in parallel and document every reason a real buyer would NOT convert. You get a kill report with a score, quotes and prioritized fixes including copy suggestions.
Why do I have to confirm my email?
Every roast triggers real AI model calls and costs us compute. The 6-digit code prevents automated abuse. Your address does not end up in any newsletter and is never shared.
What does the roast cost?
Nothing. One email code is good for exactly one roast. To test multiple pages, request a new code for each.
How long does a roast take?
Usually 60–90 seconds. All 10 examiners work in parallel, each with its own AI model call. Keep the browser window open in the meantime.
What happens if the roast fails?
Rare, but possible – for example when your page is unreachable or the model is overloaded. In that case simply request a new code for free and start again.
What happens to my URL and the report?
The page is fetched once for the analysis. The report is shown in your browser and is not publicly retrievable. We store email, URL and score to prevent abuse and to be able to advise you on the results if you wish.
How is the roast different from the AI Visibility Check?
The AI Visibility Check tests technically whether AI crawlers can read your page – without AI model calls. The AI Roast has real AI personas evaluate the content of your page as buyers. Together they give you the full picture: technology plus persuasion.
Read your roast – now what?
If your kill score hurts: we build landing pages that survive reviews like this. Talk to us about your fixes – no strings attached, based on your report.
